Come, I have bottled the stars.

threelisabeth:

a friend of mine told me about her friend i think from high school who was gay but not out, and he pretended for a while to have a girlfriend named Amanda who he would go see a lot, and they’d be all, come hang out with us and he’d be like sorry I’ve got a date with Amanda, and they were like when are we gonna meet this Amanda??? anyway he kept this up for like a year until he finally came out; and when his friends were like, “wait, what about Amanda?” he said, “IT’S A MAN, DUH.” 

i have literally never admired anyone’s commitment to a joke more

Not your body, not your choice anymore

onlyconservativeonthiswebsite:

Abortion is another big topic that is hitting the news right now, but to correctly argue this, you have to know some facts about it.
Unborn babies have their own DNA and blood type. Even as the first cell is formed after the egg and sperm fuse, the new cell has a completely new set of DNA. The baby is not YOUR body.
Secondly, you had your choice before you decided to have sex; the case of rape makes up only 0.1% of the reasons that abortions are performed.
Lastly, to fully comprehend this side of the argument, you must be educated about how abortions are performed. Personally, I find this part completely abhorrent and disgusting. The unborn baby is pulled out with a vacuum (which is about 10 times stronger than a household vacuum) and this rips the body limb from limb. You can find videos of abortions being performed online and they are absolutely appalling. Here’s the kicker: babies can feel pain during an abortion. They have actually been known to try to fight back against the vacuum. Keep that in mind next time you try to support this horrendous act.

WHO THE FUCK PAID MONEY TO PUT THIS BULLSHIT ON MY FEED.

loneozner:

me: *waits patiently in a line in a busy establishment with limited employees who can only work so fast

every 40+ person in the vicinity: OHHHHHHH MY GOD THIS IS RI-DIC-U-LOUS why is the space time continuum not being broken to IMMEDIATELY ACCOMODATE me, The Most Important Person In The World,